Disclaimer All characters living or dead are (almost) completely fictitious, and any resemblance to people living or dead is completely coincidental.The author will not hold any responsibilility for any injuries caused by exasperation and therefore self-injuring actions *hear the head (wood) against wood sound?*,and this is just to assure herself that she will not be sued in any way or other.
Author's note All the material posted up are totally original, apart from those acknowledged by author. The author also does not wish to offend anyone,but knows that not everyone can have such a high threshold of tolerance for insults/caricatures/jokes about themselves. The author hopes that allwho are offended/visit this blog will not hold it against her, for all she wants is to put a smile on other's faces (aww... This sounds so propaganda like)as well as on her own face.
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Presenting to you... A joint production between Marissa Yee and Jolene Lim... 'The Chronic Girls of Nanyang: The ah-soh, the dean and the broom closet'.
Okok, I came up with the 'chronic girls' part, and Sars did the other half. We're planning to keep the rest a secret, and maybe sell it for $1 a copy (emailed). But who would want to buy it???
Ah well... Here's a disclaimer before I forget.
Any resemblence to persons dead or alive is clearly Marissa Yee's fault... (haha!) Do not come after my blood: Go after hers.
Putting up only Chapter 1. Pay us for the rest. Haha!
Chapter 1: Xinrong goes into the broom closet.
In the year 2004, Marissa, Jolene, Seraphina and Xinrong stood outside the magnificently glamorous building of Hwa Chong and peered wistfully at it.
Little Xinrong was the first to speak. 'I wish we were back in Primary School... This place seems scary... 'Big sister Marissa reached her rather humungous hand over, and smacked her hard on the head, hissing a terse 'Shut up!' to Xinrong, who immediately burst into silent sobs.
Jolene took charge and said, 'Oh stop it! Let's go in and stop wasting time. I'm getting old out here.'
With that, they trudged with heavy hearts through the metal, greenish-black gates of the seemingly foreboding building and past the guard house.
As they approached the 'Lin Swee May' Auditorium, they saw a thin figure in a white singlet emerging from the shadows. It was none other than Uncle Jack, the school janitor everyone felt a deep loathing for at the bottom of their hearts.
'Gers! What are you doing in your home clothes? Where's your school uniform?' he rudely shouted at the now terrified girls. Seraphina stepped out, boldly challenging this old man. 'The clothes are in the wash. Who're you to order us around anyway?'
Uncle Jack fiercely screamed back, 'I'm the school janitor Uncle Jack! How dare you speak to me in that insolent tone when you're supposed to be RESPECTED MEMBERS OF SOCIETY?'
Xinrong whispered in a half snigger to Jolene, 'Uncle Jack the towgay (beanstalk)?' [Author's (Jolene's) note: Jack and the beanstalk. I think that's sufficient explanation.] The school janitor's face visibly turned purple with rage, and at that, Marissa yelled 'Let's get out of here!' The four took flight, not looking at where they were heading and went straight into classroom C2-03.
Seraphina slammed the doors behind them, and they sat panting on the grey 'Made in China' plastic chairs. 'Looks like we've shaken that stupid old fart off', said Seraphina. Realising that the danger was over, Jolene turned her attention to Xinrong, and raising her voice, screeched, 'Look what you've done! Why couldn't you just have shut your fat trap? You nearly got us slaughtered!' Xinrong indignantly shouted back, 'It isn't my fault that he has supersonic ears right?' As Jolene reopened her mouth to retort, Marissa intervened. 'Oh quit it... Why don't we try on our new P.E t-shirts?' At that, Marissa, Jolene and Seraphina rushed off to the washrooms, with Seraphina violently pushing Xinrong back.
Now alone in the big room, Xinrong's attention was caught by the little closet doors standing innocently in a corner of the classroom. Her face lit up with a mischievous smile, and the thought of punishing her sisters for being mean to her popped up in her mind. 'I will hide in there and make them worried and sorry for treating me so badly.'
Xinrong reached her small and pudgy hand up and gingerly opened the dusty wooden closet. It was cluttered with dustpans and brooms. Sweeping the brooms out of her way, she wriggled and found a spot among all the brooms. Then she quietly shut the door, and waited with bated breath.
After about ten minutes of waiting, Xinrong got terribly bored and leaned her aching body against the supposedly solid wood backing of the cupboard. Instead, she fell through another bunch of brooms and landed on her chubby bottom in the middle of a room she did not recognize. Fascinated, she walked out of the room, seeking an explanation to this experience.
